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For struggling
creative artists—visual, literary, or performing-—there
is an on-going battle between two highly important but often
conflicting needs. On the one hand, artists need to express
themselves through art; on the other, they need money in order
to support themselves. In I Feel Sick, Devi attempts
to fulfill both needs by agreeing to paint book covers for
a publishing company. Unfortunately, she is discovering that
she is slowly going insane.
As
I Feel Sick begins, Devi is at odds with her creative
side, torn between what is right for the art and what the
publishing company dictates. Everything she presents is returned
with demands for absurdly irrelevant changes that compromise
her artistic integrity. If the book is about a town of possessed
pre-pubescent murderers á la Children of the Corn,
then the publishing execs want the cover to feature a cute
little monkey, because monkeys are marketable. Better yet,
make it a space monkey!
In an
effort to create something for herself, Devi sets aside the
commissioned work and returns to an older, unfinished painting
of a doll, which she dubs Sickness. More than a painting,
Sickness is a reflection of Devi's feelings about her corporate
artwork; she even gives the doll her own hairstyle and an
"empty, burned out, soulless look." More than a manifestation
of Devi's dissatisfaction, Sickness seems real because she
seems to be talking to Devi: distracting her from her work,
heightening her artistic frustrations, and encouraging mental
lethargy. As Devi's productivity wanes, Sickness gains strength
and begins to take on a life of her own.
Fans
of cult comic icon Jhonen Vasquez will remember Devi as the
luckless in love artist from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.
It should be no surprise, then, that Devi's distractions include
various flashbacks of her ill-fated attempts at social interaction.
Though none of the flashbacks are quite as memorable as her
infamous "shit in pants" date from JTHM, Vasquez's
signature humor remains well intact: There is a brain-eating
mongoose, there is a drugged-out mummy bee girl, and there
is even an appearance by Johnny himself.
I
Feel Sick marks Vasquez's first foray into color comics,
and he taps good friend and fellow comic book artist Rikki
Simons for coloring assistance. The use of color works well
for this book, creating not only oddly alluring settings but
a soft contrast to the harsh and perpetually violent images
of JTHM. Most pages are saturated in green, purple,
and red backdrops—a color palette often used on Vasquez's
Nickelodeon cartoon, Invader ZIM, which both Vasquez
and Simons were developing when the I Feel Sick books
were released.
In fact,
the influence of Invader ZIM also permeates I Feel
Sick's message, as Devi's frustrations are semi-autobiographical.
Vasquez has often spoken of his struggles to oversee a cartoon
where even minor details were nitpicked by studio executives
who demanded change after change. I Feel Sick may be
the result of Vasquez's early dissatisfaction with these demands
and compromises, but one idea is universal among artistic
types: The expression of one's creativity is what keeps us
sane.
(April,
2007)
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