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Early
buzz surrounding Jenny Downham's debut novel, Before I
Die, touts it as this year's big YA book for adults—the
next Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
or the next Lovely Bones. Much like those books, readers
will find plenty of reasons to be both delighted and disappointed,
but Before I Die contains a few winning points that
will help it stand out among the other it-books.
The book
centers on Tessa Scott, a teenager losing her four-year struggle
with leukemia. Faced with impending death, she makes a list
of things to do before she dies, and the first order of business
is to have sex. With such a blunt premise, one can easily
expect two things from this novel: complete frankness and
at least one good cry. Luckily, the two expectations complement
each other, and the honesty keeps this novel from being overly
sentimental.
For the
most part, Before I Die is predictable to a fault.
Themes of redemption, death and birth, and seizing the day
are all overt and unsurprising. Everything one can expect
to happen will happen. A few scenes—including one illogical
incident at a radio station—also seem rather unrealistic.
It is perhaps remotely noteworthy to mention that nothing
on Tessa's list would be applauded by the Make-a-Wish Foundation,
but while the list contains more vices than virtues, it's
conventional for a 16 year-old mindset. Only the overly priggish
would condemn Tessa for wanting to engage in a little sex,
drugs, and petty thievery once her days are numbered and the
legal consequences are negligible.
What
does make the book beautiful, however, are the details. This
is not a story about events, but rather a story about observations,
and Downham is artistically vigilant. Tessa finds beauty in
the look of sunlight in a teacup, the sound of a fork whisking
in a bowl, the feeling of flight as she rides on the back
of a motorcycle. Her perceptions aren't terribly original,
but they're effective because they're affective.
Though
Downham's style is not as poetic as Alice Sebold's in The
Lovely Bones, the simplicity is perfect for Tessa, a girl
who tells it as she feels. And when Tessa thinks of death,
she feels it physically, such as when as she ponders her buried
corpse:
All
that is warm will go cold. My ears will fall off and my
eyes will melt. My mouth will be clamped shut. My lips
will turn to glue…I concentrate on breathing. In. Out.
But breathing brings the opposite when you become aware
of it. My lungs dry up like paper fans. Out. Out.
But imminent
death also lends a sense of rebellious determination that
even Zoey—Tessa's fearless and reckless best friend—cannot
handle. During a wild joyride in a thunderstorm, Zoey is terrified,
but Tessa stares death in the face and laughs irreverently:
The
whole world could roar and it wouldn't freak me out. I
want an avalanche at the next junction. I want black rain
to fall and plague of locusts to buzz out of the glove
compartment.
Throughout
the novel, Downham writes unabashedly, giving Tessa a sense
of life that is as unfettered as it is afraid and as defiant
as it is accepting. These seemingly contradictory feelings
make Tessa's plight all the more real and touching.
The paradoxes
are also important in Tessa's father, one of the most moving
characters in the book. Having quit his job to care for his
dying daughter, he has become something of an expert on leukemia
and devotes his time to assisting her. He is Tessa's rock
and supports her to the best of his ability, but he is simultaneously
an emotional wreck who agonizes over his paternal helplessness.
He is her hero, but he needs saving, himself.
Most
intriguing, however, is Tessa's love interest, Adam. He is
both literally and figuratively the boy next door: the nice
guy who takes care of his mother. He is also a bit of the
rebel: He smokes, he rides a motorcycle, and he helps Tessa
get high. But most importantly, he is a boy with emotional
baggage, struggling with a relationship destined to hurt him
more.
Though
Adam is a strong character, Downham's characterization is
a little heavy-handed at times. From his passion for gardening
to Tessa's glass apple sitting on a window that faces Adam's
room, Downham none-too-subtly equates the devoted boyfriend
to the Biblical Adam, thus practically forcing the innocence
and purity of the teens' love down readers' throats. Still,
the struggle between the two star-crossed lovers—ones
who know their fates from the onset—is heartbreaking
because it is so beautiful.
Best
of all, Before I Die succeeds where predecessors like
The Lovely Bones fell flat: It ends superbly. From
climax to end, Downham reveals that she is an adept player
of the heartstrings; she can tug at them well, but she can
just as effectively pluck gently. With a well-measured change
of writing style and a conclusion that is altogether satisfying,
Before I Die ends stronger than it starts, transcending
most of its weaknesses with its humanness and making for a
story that will resonate long after the book has been finished.
The book may not be a masterpiece, but it is, viscerally,
a lovely read.
(October,
2007)
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