MY CUSTOM VAN
By MICHAEL IAN BLACK

Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008
ISBN: 9781416964056
240 pages; Hardcover
Genre(s): Nonfiction, Essays, Humor

Reviewed by Kyle Olson

The greats of comedy history have always subverted norms. The Marx Brothers brought a certain brand of anarchy into polite society. Monty Python's Flying Circus held their "Upper Class Twit of the Year" contest. The Kids in the Hall and Upright Citizens Brigade refused to do any sort of impersonations or direct commentary on modern issues, challenging the idea of what was expected of a comedy troupe. Hopefully Michael Ian Black will get his name celebrated in a similar fashion for following this comedy subversion further down the rabbit hole. Black, in his current comedy group Stella (and to a lesser extent, his old, unfairly forgotten group, the State), further subverts norms by making his performances not rely upon standard comedy conventions of set up and delivery, but rather a constant stream of amusingly ridiculous statements and actions. He has taken "nonsensical dicking around" to a new plateau.

While "dicking around" may suggest his style is without wit or even a point, this is thankfully not the case. What Black excels at is taking conventions and insightfully tweaking them, turning up the situation's inherent idiocy (and okay, also some dicking around). With his new book, My Custom Van, Michael Ian Black revels in that same habit of engaging in willful and knowing stupidity while maintaining a smart edge.

For instance, this book has an essay called "Why I Used a Day-Glo Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," which starts with a quote from Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel explaining that "nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion," illustrating Black's penchant for mixing intelligence and extreme senselessness. However, the book would work much better if these forces were better balanced more often.

Thankfully, a good portion of the book's essays straddle this dichotomy well, giving the readers a jolt of whimsy without insulting their intelligence. Pieces like "Vampires—Good For the Economy?" combine a novel premise with thoughtful commentary. For instance, explains Black, cape sales would skyrocket because of vampires, and garlic farmers would experience quite a boon. "Although vampires do not kill based on socio-economic status," he cautions, "we expect the poor to be disproportionately affected, since they will be the least able to protect themselves, as well as the most likely to be wandering outside alone at night. We are calling this phenomenon 'the vampire tax.' Look for Democrats to capitalize."

The essay "Using the Socratic Method to Determine What It Would Take for Me to Voluntarily Eat Dog Shit for the Rest of My Life" may be the highlight of the entire book and certainly embodies the idiocy/intelligence combination. Asking himself a series of questions like "Would I rather eat a scoop of dog shit or a piece of bacon?," "What if it was either a thimbleful of dog shit or ten pounds of bacon?," and "What if the bacon was made from people?," Black allows the reader to follow him on his musings down that line of questioning until the inevitable conclusion. The essay reads like he's writing it on the spot as he follows his own logic, with no editing. A fan of his would probably not be surprised if this were the case.

However, some of the essays fall hard on the side of pure idiocy, the intelligence fails to deliver, or the dicking around can become oppressive. "Some DJ Names I've Been Considering" and "Good Skiing Form" feel like tossed off blog entries and are largely disappointing when taking up space inside a purchased book. Elsewhere, essays like "Icky," with its eccentric millionaire narrator who gets run out of the DMV while wearing a blonde wig and football pads, simply seem like a sketch that was never finished, an attempt to get by on pure inanity. Maybe it may have worked if it were actually a part of Stella's repertoire, considering Black's ability to bring subtle facial expressions, physical comedy, and excellent delivery into the equation. Written, however, it feels like it's filling up space in an already slim book.

That's not to say that all the purely idiotic essays aren't worth reading. "Taco Party," for instance, charms with its mindless gung-ho devotion to a certain breed of get-together (told with hilariously gratuitous swearing): "Fair warning: If you don't like AC/DC, stuffing your fat face full of tacos, playing fucking taco piñata, swimming in crystal-clear, taco fart-free waters, and waving around fucking Kentucky bluegrass sparklers, then stay home and suck on your grandma's fucking tit, because this is not the party for you."

My Custom Van has some truly hilarious moments, and Michael Ian Black is a really funny gentleman. The fifty essays contained within this book will often induce serious laughter as they explore pop culture with the "why not?" experimentation of a child (albeit a super-genius child who is capable of picking apart convention down to the skeleton). It's difficult not to love Black's taking on Lewis Black's hatred of candy corn, the cliché of the football halftime coach pep-talk, and David Sedaris's near-universal acclaim. However, the book reads rather quickly, and the hit-to-miss ratio is a bit disappointing, considering Black's track record. Fans will find much to love, but they may wish to wait until it's out in paperback.

(August, 2008)

 

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