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There
are plenty of books on the mother-daughter relationship, from
self-help books telling readers how to mend this special relationship
to memoirs telling readers how difficult this relationship
can be. But these works always depict the extremes. Most women
don't have a mother like Jeannette Walls's as portrayed in
The Glass Castle, dressing her kids in torn clothes
and not feeding the pets lest they get too dependent. Most
women have a more humorous relationship with their mothers.
As much as they love them, mothers often leave daughters scratching
their heads, wondering if they really are related.
Therein
lies the beauty of Have I Got a Guy for You—over
and over again, mothers try to set their daughters up on dates,
with hilariously disastrous results. It is clear to see that
in all these cases the mothers are well-intentioned. They
only want the best for their daughters. They just have no
idea what that is. As Molly Prather says about her mother
in "Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Banana?," "She's an avid
fan of Anne Rice, listens to Neil Diamond without a trace
of irony, and enjoys the fellowship of enthusiastic Christian
housewives. I read The New Yorker, listen to Jeff Buckley,
even when it's nice outside, and go to independent films alone.
Why on earth would I like someone she picked out?"
Author
Alix Strauss (The Joy of Funerals: A Novel in Stories)
has collected twenty-four hilarious stories from women from
a variety of backgrounds. The one thing that unites all these
women is that their mothers have set them up on abysmal blind
dates.
So many
things can go wrong when a mother fixes up a daughter. Obviously,
there is a generational difference that vexes even the closest
of moms and daughters. Things that were important in mom's
time, like a man having a prestigious job and dressing well,
may not be important to her daughter. In many cases, there
can also be cultural differences. If mom grew up in the old
country, the way things are done in America can be quite baffling.
And for all the strides feminism has made, there are still
plenty of mothers who insist that their daughters must be
married and must have children in order to be fulfilled. Many
of these issues come into play in Have I Got a Guy for
You, but the book's light tone never gets bogged down
in polemics.
The anxious
moms overstep boundaries with impunity. One activates an online
dating profile for her daughter, vets all the responses and
finally chooses one respondent. Many of them give out their
daughters' email addresses and even cell phone numbers to
complete strangers they meet in supermarkets or at the movies,
knowing that their daughters may not completely appreciate
the gesture. And some are less than tactful. Adina Kay's mother
says to her in "The School Teacher Who Couldn't Commit," "I
think he's your type—not too Jewy at all!"
The men
with whom these women have been set up seem phenomenally clueless.
One barrages his date with a monologue about how many children
they will have when married, where they will live, and the
importance of S&M in their sex lives. Another tells knock-knock
jokes. A guy lists his multifarious illnesses, allergies,
and injuries over a vegan meal. One breaks out into a Cher
song at a restaurant. There's the guy who takes his date to
a live-action Dungeons and Dragons game—at least he was
kind enough to give her a skimpy costume to wear. And one
of the men is so desperate to marry that he already has purchased
a two-carat ring, in case the right woman shows up. He kindly
tells his date that she may be the lucky recipient!
In one
of the funniest and most awkward stories in the collection,
Hemmy So's "Perfect Son-in-Law," the couple's second date
features a shopping trip with So's mother, who wants to pick
out the Prada handbag the blind date promised So as a "thank
you." So continues to date the perfect potential son-in-law,
squiring him around, showing him the sights and allowing him
to take photos of her in front of landmarks until she finally
has a public breakdown. Such is the cost of a Prada handbag.
Rachel
Sklar's "Meeting Morty—or How My Mother's Friend's Friend's
Daughter's Friend's Brother Became My Favorite Ex-Boyfriend"
is probably the sweetest story of the bunch. Sklar has a great
time on her blind date, and ends up dating Morty for a while.
As is obvious in the title, they break up but remain friends.
The stand-out
story is Karen Alexander's "A Nice Girl's Guide to Life and
Death" —an incredible page-turner that manages to make
the reader feel complex emotions about the two protagonists:
"nice girl" Karen, home from Berkeley in the early 1960s,
who dates everyone with whom her mother sets her up; and Robbie,
the awkward and ugly son of a character actor. With an unexpected
turn towards the end, tt's a sad story with a lot of humor
and insight.
As is
often the case with collections like this, there is a little
unevenness to the writing, and some of the writers seem obsessed
with insignificant physical details. It's hard to identify
with a woman who is disgusted by a man simply because he's
twenty pounds overweight. Some include too many chick lit
clichés like designer names and details about shoes, but almost
all of the stories are fun and quickly digested. Readers who
have been subjected to the fix-up, and those fascinated with
dating and relationships, will find Have I Got a Guy for
You to be a delightful companion.
(March,
2008)
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