By now, you've read your fill of regimented end-of-the-year lists documenting the best books of 2009. So instead of asking authors, editors, musicians, and our own staff members what their favorite books of the year were, we asked them to list some of things that caught their interest in 2009. For some, the replies were naturally book-related, though many turned to technology (such as favorite iTunes podcasts from Potomac Review's Will Grofic), other forms of entertainment (A. Lee Martinez runs through his favorite game, TV show, and movie), and events (St. Reverend Jen mentions something about Mormon masturbation). As usual, the responses ran the gamut from comedic to tragic, though some of our favorite entries (including one from Elizabeth Crane) show that the worst of situations can always be turned into comedic gold.
Enjoy.
 ST. REVEREND JEN
Author, Live Nude Elf
revjen.com
TOP FIVE THINGS OF 2009
Mormon Abstinence Propaganda as Masturbatory Fodder
Thanks to Stephenie Meyer, women are now jacking themselves silly to sparkly vampires and adorable werewolves.
Budweiser
Wait a minute…Budweiser was on last year's list…and the year before that…and…the year before that…and…oh, that's right: Budweiser makes reality bearable.
The Obsolescence of Blankets
Before Snuggie came along, I'm not sure how anybody got anything done with those pesky "blankets" getting in the way! The fleece equivalent of a medical robe has paved the way for arm liberation.
Elfin Revolution
Finally, an angry elf confronted Santa with a stick of imaginary dynamite! To some, Santa might be a jolly fat man in a red suit, but to elves he's a slave-driving bastard who provides no medical or dental.
This Decade Ending
When Prince wrote "We're gonna party like it's 1999," he could never have imagined how hard we were gonna party in 2009. From the tsunami to a maniac squatting in the White House for eight years to 3,000 of my neighbors dying in a fiery explosion, the "aughts" have sucked ass. Even the name is stupid.
BRI LAFOND
Hipster Book Club
TOP 5 BOOKS I READ THIS YEAR (THAT DIDN'T NECESSARILY COME OUT THIS YEAR)
I try to stay on top of the publishing world's latest releases, but sometimes... well, let's say I fall behind now and then. Here are five great books I read in 2009 that were published earlier.
1. The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break by Steven Sherrill
2. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See
3. Memoirs by Tennessee Williams
4. The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones by Anthony Bourdain
5. Marvels: 10th Anniversary Edition by Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross
 FRANK PORTMAN
Author, Andromeda Klein
doktorfrank.com
TOP FIVE THINGS OF 2009
1. Peep Show, series 6
By a cruel twist of something or other, American fans of the British television comedy Peep Show have had to watch anything past the first series in nine-minute segments on YouTube. (Only the first series of six episodes has been released on region 1 DVD, and Channel Four's apparently spiffy viewer is barred to US IP addresses.) As annoying as that is, it's still worth the effort, as Peep Show is by a leap and a couple of bounds the best and most original comedy on TV. The writing is brilliant, but it is the phenomenal acting by comedy team David Mitchell and Robert Webb that really makes everything click.
British television series tend to be ridiculously short, with only six episodes commissioned at a time as a rule. Three hours a year is a lot less Peep Show than I'd prefer, but you work with what you got, and I'm counting the days till series 7.
2. Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk by Tony DuShane
This remarkable little book won't be published till 2010, but I was fortunate enough to be passed a manuscript copy this year. We've all read several coming-of-age/sexual awakening novels, and many of us have written at least one as well, but none that I've seen is quite like this account set in the context of the (to me) strange and exotic Jehovah's Witnesses world. For those who appreciate a fresh approach to a conventional subject, this ought to do it.
3. Neil Patrick Harris
4. The New Rebozo Mexican Restaurant in Oak Park, IL
Californians tend to be a little skeptical and snooty about Mexican food recommendations when they come from people in places like Chicago. I guess I'm no exception, because when a teacher at a Chicago-area high school I was visiting on a book tour told me that the New Rebozo Mexican Restaurant in Oak Park, IL was the greatest Mexican restaurant in the world, I required quite a bit of convincing.
Paco the chef, I was told, would describe each menu item in great detail, giving each the ultimate review: "Oh my God." This indeed is exactly what happened. It took ages, and a great many OMGs, just to get to the ordering. He was a quirky, passionate, friendly guy. I had this roasted green pepper stuffed with beef, chorizo, and rice and covered in pomegranate sauce and, well: oh my God. Seriously. Best thing I've ever tasted, pretty much. (And I didn't think anything could beat Sizzler.)
5. YA Not at Word Brooklyn
Bookstore appearances can be great but also a bit similar to each other, so I really appreciate the opportunity to do something a little different from time to time. And that's just what Word Brooklyn, a bookstore in Greenpoint, provides with a series they call YA Not.
It's billed as a "literary salon for not-so-young adults," and the idea is that the author gets to select a person to conduct a live interview in the basement of the store. They have a little stage with just enough space for two chairs and an end table, and the interview is conducted TV talk show style. I asked Juliet Linderman, a fan from way back who had become a journalist and happened to be the editor of the Greenpoint Gazette. So basically, she was Merv to my Zsa Zsa, Frost to my Nixon, Tom Snyder to my Gene Simmons. And it went great.
It's a terrific, original idea that could work just about anywhere. I'd like to see more of that type of thing, but till the rest of the world catches on, Word Brooklyn is the place to go for it. 
MATT BELL
Editor, The Collagist
thecollagist.com
THE FIVE 2009 SONGS I LISTENED TO THE MOST, ACCORDING TO ITUNES
1. "I'm Confused" by Handsome Furs (65 plays)
2. "Now We Can See" by The Thermals (56 plays)
3. "So Far Around The Bend" by The National (43 plays)
4. "These Hands" by Why? (42 plays)
5. "Idiot Heart" by Sunset Rubdown (41 plays)
MAXINE GEE
Hipster Book Club
TOP FIVE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA EXPERIENCES OF 2009
2009 has been the first full year I’ve lived outside of the UK (bar those overheated summer months). Here are five things that really stood out, in no particular order.
1. Coachella
My first ever music festival. I saw Paul McCartney, Leonard Cohen, Morrissey, and Franz Ferdinand all on one day.
2. Hummingbirds
The cutest things ever. They are so brightly colored. Not that all birds in Britain are brown, but they have nothing on this critter.
3. LA Times Festival of Books
So many authors, so little time. Plus, it included free food in the green room and weirding out Larry Wilmore by asking if he’d take a picture with me and a taxidermy badger’s tail.
4. Guy Fawkes piñata
Burning an effigy was against university fire rules, so I had to celebrate Guy Fawkes Night in some other way. I had fun participating in the construction of the piñata (it started life as a pirate) and its destruction (the first time I’ve ever held a baseball bat).
5. Asian food in L.A.
Do I need to say any more?
 A. LEE MARTINEZ
Author, Monster
aleemartinez.com
TOP 5 THINGS OF 2009 (in no particular order):
5. TWILIGHT IMPERIUM (board game, Fantasy Flight Games)
I like games, and I like them more every year. While this game has been around for a few years in one form or another, I recently crossed into hardcore board game addiction, which allowed me to buy it finally. This is a big game. This is a game that sits on its throne deep in its mountain, asks other games the riddle of steel, and if they do not answer, Twilight Imperium casts them out into the wasteland. Twilight Imperium is a galactic empire game that demands a lot from its players but also rewards them plenty. It's not for the faint of heart, but if you have the fortitude, guts, and sheer determination to rule the universe through guile, wealth, and/or fearsome space armadas, then this is a masterpiece of a game. A great discovery for me this year.
4. COMMUNITY (TV show, NBC)
This show is funny, weird, and intelligent. What's great about the show is that it embraces almost every cliché of sitcoms and shows you don't have to reinvent the wheel to be fresh and original. An unlikely group of diverse friends, a kooky setting, simple archetypes. There's nothing radical about Community, and that's what makes it radical. It's not trying to impress you with its originality. It's just concentrating on writing genuinely funny stuff, and in a world full of gimmicks, that's impressive. Also, it's just damn funny.
3. UP (movie, Pixar)
Up is awesome. I could break it down for you, but if you've seen it, you already know. And if you haven't seen it, then do yourself a favor: Stop reading this, and go watch it now. Surreal, absurd, heartfelt, beautiful, exciting, and just perfect in every way. While it's animated (and hence will never get the respect it deserves from some people) and it actually dares to have a happy ending (and hence will not get the respect it deserves from others), this is the finest film of this year.
2 LITTLE KING'S STORY (video game, Wii)
The older I get, the more I find myself drawn to colorful, fun games that don't necessarily involve carjackings, shooting people in the face, or being splattered with virtual zombie gore. Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy those things. But there's just something terribly satisfying and wonderful about playing a game that dares to be surreal. This is why every year, I find myself loving Mario and Luigi just a little bit more. (Super Mario Galaxy, which I discovered this year, almost made the list, but it's just a bit too old.) Little King's Story is a fun game where you run around, leading cartoonish followers, fighting cartoonish monsters, in an effort to conquer the world. A remarkably simple game with a great feel to it and just so much fun. It's not perfect, but there's just something rewarding about sending a horde of toon soldiers into battle against a deadly cow.
1. ATOMIC ROBO AND THE SHADOW FROM BEYOND TIME (comic book, Red 5 Comics)
I love Atomic Robo, and I love inter-dimensional monsters. Here's a limited series where two wonderful things meet, and if you think that's awesome, then you are only half right because it is mega-awesome. Atomic Robo's previous mini-series were both solid, but it is in this one that I felt everything really came together. Robo teams up with H.P. Lovecraft, Carl Sagan, and Robo himself (or is that himselves?) in a terrific tale that shows comics can be fun and smart without being gruesome. Also, Robo has a speech about how to tell an evil computer from a good computer, and that's always helpful.
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