THE INFLUENCE OF ANXIETY:
Rowing Through Wetlands

By DOROTHY PARKA

At ticketed performances in Germany, the audience members were required to be over-18. People fainted upon hearing some of the descriptions. It's been called pornographic, shocking, disgusting, outrageous, gross, engrossing, and brilliant. All this hubbub about a novel?

These days, disgusting books, even by popular media figures don't manage to incite riots or book burnings or rending of garments, but the literati are having a rather animated dialogue. I guess that's as close to fantods as we can manage in literature. Wetlands, or Feuchtgebiete as it's called in the original German (loosely translated as "a moist, aquatic place"), is the work of thirty-year-old Charlotte Roche, a German TV host who started on the MTV-like station Viva. Essentially, this is the equivalent of Tabitha Soren writing a book about shit, piss, and menstrual blood, all from the POV of an 18-year-old girl in the hospital for hemorrhoid surgery. You can see why it has caused a stir. The unexpected part is that it has sold 500,000 copies in Germany, has been translated into French and English, and is the first German book to land on Amazon's bestseller list. Not bad for a book about a girl obsessed with her bodily functions.

Wetlands is probably our generation's Tropic of Cancer, only with less bannition and fewer penises. Has any recent book caused such a furor? Maybe The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir by Toni Bentley, a.k.a. "that anal sex book by the ballerina," but did anyone read that? That book is in no danger of being considered literature, yet here is Roche being interviewed by Granta. GRANTA, fer crissakes! Roche writes about the fun of red wings and sharing tampons, and Granta—which compares Wetlands to The Catcher in the Rye, J.G. Ballard's Crash, and Germaine Greer's The Female Eunuch—takes her seriously! This is a woman to be reckoned with.

Ostensibly, Wetlands is about what goes through young Helen Memel's mind while she's bedridden after hemorrhoid surgery. And what Helen thinks about is her vagina and all the things that go into or come out of it, her bowel movements, her urine, her sweat, her pubic hair, and other people's pubic hair. She thinks a lot about menstruation and how much she likes sex while she has her period. She describes how she washes out her colon for anal sex. She picks her nose and eats her boogers. She's pretty disgusting, but what's the point?

Roche is arrogant. You can see in the Granta interview that she cops to never reading, hardly writing anything previously besides some of her lines for TV, and intending for Wetlands to be a manifesto (or womynifesto if you will) about not feeling shame over smegma. And that's kind of a drag because Wetlands is so much more than that.

Roche goes off in the wrong direction when she claims that Wetlands is a cri de cunt for ladies to stop shaving their lady parts and to start using vajayjay junk as parfum. As literature, Wetlands succeeds. Protagonist Helen is a complicated and sad young lady who covers up her loneliness with shockingly overt sexuality. She tells herself (and us) that we should revel in our juices and not stew in them—go without showering, let our armpit hair grow—but what landed her in the hospital is an infection she got from trying to shave around her hemorrhoids. Helen has no idea what she's doing. Her obsession with sex and bodily smells and fluids, as well as her desire to be the most outrageous person in the room at all times, has led her to an odd disconnect between her body and her mind since almost the entire book consists of Helen thinking and philosophizing to pass the time in the hospital; she's all in her head but only thinking about her bod. Helen, with all her talk of feces and urine and blood, clearly desires to regress to an infant state, and this is also obvious from the fact that she fantasizes that her parents will get back together. She longs for a time when her family was together, but the only way for her to get there is by not cleaning herself and acting out sexually.

Natch, the U.S. backlash has been notably different from the media sturm und drang seen in the European press. Feminist author Sallie Tisdale, writing in The New York Times, was all like, "C'mon! Women make actual tampon art. Why y'all acting like this is such a big deal!" That's the deal with our American culture. As Jane's Addiction famously said, nothing's shocking. At least to some of us. I have to admit that this was going to be my take also. For women who read Michelle Tea and Lydia Lunch, this is no biggie. But let's face facts—tampon artists and graphic novels about prostitutes don't get the attention this book has gotten. Bookstores do not prominently display erotica anthologies, if they even carry them.

Tisdale got herself into a tizzy about Roche saying in an interview, "Men have this whole range of different names for their sexual organs, while us women still don't really have a language for our lust." Tisdale, who makes her living finding stuff about women and sexuality and writing about it, thinks that all ladies know about a mythological bookstore section that devotes itself to the "extensive literature of women's sexuality." Since I happen to know a few people who are writers of this literature of women's sexuality and I know how difficult it is to find their books in bookstores in NEW YORK FUCKING CITY, smut capital of the United States, I have to call dooky on Tisdale's claim. While complicated, unusual, and overtly sexual books by and about women are not new, they're not common, they're not popular, and they're not part of the conversation about books outside of the rarified circles of feminist theorists and bluestockings.

One of the major themes in the book is that nice girls don't talk about these things, even with each other. Not even with their mothers! I know this to be true in my case. Sure, we had the talk and sex ed classes, but there's stuff people just don't talk about. Me and my stupid BFF Melpomene, for example, never talked about most of the stuff that Helen tells readers, but Mel knows what almost all of my boyfriends have looked like, if you know what I mean.

If nothing else, Wetlands opens up the possibility of having intimate conversations about things women hadn't dreamed of talking about before. I would like to start a book discussion group. Not about the book, but about our periods.

(July, 2009)

 
     

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